MORE THERAPY

I'm doing much better than I was. Therapy has really been great for me and I feel really blessed that my insurance is allowing me to have 20 visits for 10 dollar copays. Although, my therapist had to write that I'm clinically insane for me to get that deal...otherwise it would have been $60 copays.
My therapist likes to bring up the topic of my mother. I'm SO OVER IT! Although, she always says something that opens my eyes. She is teaching me ways to communicate to my mother and not let things slide like I used to.
For example: I told my mom that I am starting to feel more like myself and she told me that she realized that Tina was just protecting me when they got into that fight, which Tina was and I am amazed that my mom finally realized that! Then, my mom asked me if I am ever going to apologize for calling her "Toxic" which she read in my blog...(which is why I changed the name of my blog.) She said that my sister says she has a really hard apologizing and that I probably am the same. I told my mom that I didn't realize she was expecting an apology for that.

My therapist stopped me right there and said. "Krista, you should have said at that moment, Do you want to ask me why I think you are toxic, so you can try to understand the way I feel?"

Not bad...

Today, my therapist ended the session with the Chakra thing again and asked me to focus on whatever feelings come up when I chant "ALL THE WAYS AND TIMES..." and we decided that the chant would follow with "my mother is negative..." and I had to start with my hand on my heart and on my other hand on my head. Then I say the chant "All the ways and times my mother is negative..." and then feel the feelings that come up...then move my hand from my head to my eyes and say the chant and feel the feelings that come up...then move hand to my mouth, then to my throat, then to my heart, then to my stomach, then to my groins, then to my tailbone.
Its hard for me to do that, because first of all I feel like a BIG DORK.
Secondly, I just want to get OVER it already and that stirs it up more. By the time I am through with all the Chakras I always have tears in my eyes. Then she asks me out of 1-being okay and 10-being the worst how upset do I feel? Today, I think its at about a 4 or 5.
I hope this therapy is going to help me be a stronger and more positive person. Before I went in there today I thought (hoped) it would be our last session, but I have another appointment for next week.


Five more days until Tina's big interview!!!